Just because I talk about poop sometimes does not mean I am devoid of culture

Today, in an effort to appear more sophisticated than I actually am, I went to see the ballet Coppelia with the other kids on the program. I still have no idea what the plot was, but I was vaguely aware of giant mechanical dolls coming to life, an old man that I suspect was somewhat misunderstood, and a wedding at the end. And lots of dancing, naturally. Next stop: the opera. And naturally that means shopping for opera-appropriate clothing sometime this week. I'm sure you all can guess how annoyed I am that I have to go buy clothes. God. Next time why don't you just force me to eat my vegetables or something.

Also, for those interested, the weight loss program I recommend is the 'I'm a student in a foreign country and I'm too cheap to pay £1.50 (aka THREE DOLLARS) for the tube so I walk everywhere and I am SO SICK OF EATING PASTA' diet. Throw in a bowl of granola each morning and you've even got regularity covered.

Oh, and counting the one that occurred only moments ago, this dorm has had four fire alarms in one month. Four! The alarms do excellent impressions of feral cats and will startle at anything -- burnt popcorn, cigarette smoke, warm breath -- so when you factor in the inexperience of budding young chefs (or more likely those who can't make beans on toast without burning the toast), plus the fact that the kitchen has exactly zero ventilation, without forgetting the general idiots who let out their sexual frustrations by pulling the alarm for fun, your result is a fire alarm at least once a week. The fire brigade always sends at least two trucks, too, which baffles me because they've gotta know that when they get an alarm from a college dorm that it's not likely to be anything that can't be taken care of with a glass of water. I'm impressed they even come at all anymore. They need one of those easy buttons from Staples that will shut off the alarm and relocate the culprit to Abu Dhabi. I'll bring one back from Christmas break.

posted by limeywannabe @ 7:10 PM